Key Takeaways
- Obituaries serve as written announcements of a person’s death, highlighting their life and impact on others, informing about memorial services, and providing a permanent record for future generations, aiding in healing and remembrance
- Effective obituaries balance storytelling and fact-sharing, focusing on key details about the deceased, and maintaining accuracy to honor their life and legacy
- When writing an obituary, it is crucial to provide accurate details about the deceased, consider tone, share biographical information and personal anecdotes, highlight accomplishments, proofread for accuracy, and publish in a way that reaches the intended audience
Writing an obituary can be a deeply personal and emotional task, yet it is an important way to honor the life of a loved one who has passed away.
An obituary serves to inform others about the person’s death, their achievements, relationships, and the details of their funeral or memorial service. Crafting an obituary requires a balance of storytelling and fact-sharing that memorializes the deceased’s life while providing pertinent information for those who wish to pay their respects.
This article about how to write an obituary is part of a bigger funeral planning series; if you’re considering pre-planning your funeral, or have the immediate need to plan a funeral service for a loved one, we encourage you to read our intro guide on how to plan a funeral.
To write an effective obituary, there are a few key components to consider, including gathering necessary information, seeking inspiration, and maintaining accuracy.
By focusing on these aspects, you can create a touching tribute that not only informs but also celebrates the life and legacy of the person who has passed.
What is an Obituary?
An obituary is a written announcement of a person’s death, typically published in a newspaper or online platform. It provides an account of the deceased person’s life, highlighting their accomplishments, career, and their impact on their family and community. Obituaries serve as a record of a person’s life and a way to honor their memory.
Purpose of an Obituary
The primary purpose of an obituary is to inform others about the death, offering key information about the deceased and funeral or memorial service details.
It allows friends, colleagues, and the larger community to come together and share their condolences, providing comfort to the bereaved family. Additionally, obituaries serve as a permanent record for future generations, connecting family histories and memories.
Significance of Obituaries
Obituaries hold much significance in our society as they recognize and celebrate the life of the deceased. They allow people to express their grief and share the impact the person had on their lives.
Obituaries contribute to the process of healing and remembering, as they help people come to terms with loss and promote the idea of legacy.
The thoughtful documentation of a person’s life, legacy, and the influence they had on others ensures that their story will not be forgotten.
Essential Elements of an Obituary
Recipient Details
When writing an obituary, always start with the full name of the deceased. Using their proper title (such as Mr., Mrs., or Dr.) can add a respectful touch. Be sure to include their age, as well as their city of residence. This information helps provide sufficient identification for readers, especially for those with common names.
Death Announcement
Announce the death by mentioning the date of death and any relevant circumstances, only if you feel comfortable doing so. This is best kept simple and straightforward, as the focus should remain on the deceased’s life. Emphasize their relationships and accomplishments.
Surviving Members
List the surviving family members of the deceased and their relationships. You should include:
- Spouse, children, and grandchildren
- Parents and siblings
- Extended family members like aunts, uncles, and cousins (optional)
IMPORTANT!
It’s essential to double-check the names and relationships with the family to avoid inaccuracies and hurt feelings.
Life Synopsis
Provide a brief summary of the deceased’s life, focusing on their achievements, hobbies, and character traits. To maintain the tone, consider:
- Their upbringing and education
- Significant career milestones
- Personal accomplishments (e.g., community work or hobbies)
- Positive attributes and character traits that were important to them
Remember to remain confident, knowledgeable, and neutral in your writing, while still offering a meaningful and clear tribute to their life. This section gives readers a more personal glimpse into the deceased’s life, so choose the most relevant moments to include.
Writing the Obituary
Choosing the Right Tone
When writing an obituary, it’s essential to maintain a tone that is confident, knowledgeable, and clear.
Keep the tone neutral, as this will allow you to present information in an unbiased and respectful manner.
Be mindful of the wide range of emotions that readers may be experiencing and strive to convey biographical information and personal anecdotes with sensitivity and reverence.
Providing Biographical Information
To provide accurate and relevant biographical information, make sure to include:
- The full name of the deceased, including any nicknames
- Dates of birth and death
- Hometown and city of residence
- Family members, including parents, siblings, spouse, and children
- Education, career, and major life events
Be concise but thorough when detailing these life events and relationships.
Sharing Personal Anecdotes
Personal anecdotes offer a glimpse into the life and character of the deceased. When including these stories:
- Choose anecdotes that emphasize the person’s values, characteristics, or passions
- Keep anecdotes brief and focused on specific qualities or events
- Exercise sensitivity and ensure they are appropriate for a public audience
Mentioning Notable Accomplishments
Highlight the deceased’s achievements and contributions to their community or profession by mentioning:
- Successes in their career or volunteer work
- Awards, honors, and recognitions received
- Contributions to charitable or community organizations
- Noteworthy hobbies or interests
Ensure these accomplishments are rooted in facts and avoid any exaggeration or false claims.
Structuring the Obituary
Organize the obituary into thematic sections, starting with the announcement of death, followed by biographical information, personal anecdotes, and notable accomplishments.
Conclude with funeral or memorial service information and any special requests from the family.
This structure will provide a clear and coherent framework for your writing, making it easier for readers to follow and understand the story of the deceased’s life.
Important Details to Include
Writing an obituary requires attention to detail and the inclusion of specific information that will provide readers with a comprehensive understanding of the deceased’s life and legacy.
Funeral and Memorial Service Information
It is essential to include information about the funeral or memorial service in the obituary. This allows friends and family to know when and where the event will take place.
Include the date, time, and location of the service.
Additionally, if the service is open to everyone or is a private event, ensure to mention that as well. Providing directions or contact information for the funeral director can also be helpful.
Requested Donations
In some cases, the family may request memorial donations to a specific cause, organization, or charity rather than sending flowers.
If this is the case, include the details about the preferred charity and the proper way to make donations. Provide the name and address of the organization and any specific instructions on how to contribute.
This makes it easy for readers to express their sympathy and support the family’s wishes.
Recognition of Special Relationships
An obituary is an opportunity to acknowledge and honor the deceased’s special relationships with their spouse, children, relatives, parents, siblings, and partner.
Make sure to list both surviving and predeceased family members in the obituary.
When mentioning family members, use their full names and, if applicable, their relationship to the deceased. This could be done in bullet points or in a concise paragraph format:
- Spouse: Jane Smith (married for 30 years)
- Children: John Smith (son), Mary Smith (daughter), and Alice Smith (daughter)
- Parents: Robert Smith (father, deceased) and Susan Smith (mother)
- Siblings: Mark Smith (brother) and Karen Smith (sister)
Incorporating these important details into the obituary ensures a meaningful tribute that covers essential information for friends and family, helping them honor their loved one accordingly.
Seeking Inspiration and Samples
Obituary Templates
When looking for inspiration and samples, starting with an obituary template can help guide your writing process. Templates provide structure and outline the key elements to include, such as the announcement of the person’s death, a summary of their life story, and a list of surviving family members. Remember, you can customize these templates to reflect the unique personality and experiences of your loved one.
Exploring Examples
Another way to find inspiration is by exploring examples of well-written obituaries. Good examples can show you how to incorporate various elements, like humor, grief, and personal anecdotes, while keeping the writing clear and concise. Search for obituaries in newspapers, online platforms like Ever Loved and Legacy.com, or consult with a funeral home professional for recommendations.
Here are a few things to pay attention to in examples:
- Effective storytelling: Observe how the writer shares anecdotes, life lessons, or non-linear timelines to create a compelling narrative.
- Evoking emotions: Look for examples that skillfully blend humor and grief, striking a balance that feels authentic and respectful.
- Language choices: Pay attention to the words and tone used in well-written obituaries. Aim for clear, concise language that remains neutral yet offers a glimpse into the person’s character.
Incorporating Humor and Grief
When writing an obituary, finding the balance between incorporating humor and expressing grief can be challenging. Mixing humor and grief can help reflect your loved one’s unique personality while celebrating their life in a genuine way.
Examples of humorous obituaries may include:
- Lighthearted anecdotes recounting the person’s quirks or achievements
- Inside jokes shared by the family or community
- Descriptions of personal trademarks, such as a distinct laugh, signature dish, or hobby
Keep in mind that humor should always be handled sensitively to avoid offending anyone, especially during this difficult time. Consider how others may perceive the humor and work to strike a balance that honors your loved one without making light of their passing.
Proofreading and Accuracy
When writing an obituary, it is essential to pay attention to detail and ensure its accuracy. This section will provide guidance on how to proofread your obituary and maintain a high level of accuracy in your writing.
Start by thoroughly reviewing your obituary for any spelling or grammatical errors. Since it’s often difficult to spot our own mistakes, consider using a grammar-checking tool like Grammarly, or ask a trusted friend or family member to review your work. There’s no harm in requesting someone else’s perspective to ensure your writing is polished and professional.
Accuracy is crucial when it comes to providing details about the deceased’s life. Double-check dates, names, and relationships with family members to guarantee that the information is correct. You wouldn’t want to cause confusion or offend anyone by publishing incorrect details about the deceased or their family. It’s advisable to cross-reference your facts with family members or other reliable sources whenever possible.
Be mindful of your tone when writing the obituary. Maintain a confident, knowledgeable, and neutral tone, while keeping your language clear and concise. Avoid making any exaggerated or false claims, as dishonesty can lead to mistrust among readers and potentially tarnish the deceased’s memory.
In summary, it’s essential to proofread your obituary thoroughly and ensure the information is accurate. By doing so, you will create a respectful and honest tribute to the deceased that will be appreciated by their friends, family, and community.
Publishing the Obituary
Local Newspaper Publication
When publishing an obituary in a local newspaper, first identify the newspaper that serves your loved one’s community.
Reach out to the newspaper’s obituary department to inquire about their specific submission process, along with any costs and deadlines. Newspapers often charge a fee based on word count or column inches.
Keep in mind that newspapers typically have guidelines regarding formatting, content, and length. Make sure you adhere to these requirements to avoid delays or alterations to the obituary.
Online Posting
For online obituaries, you have various options ranging from newspaper websites to dedicated memorial platforms. When submitting obituaries to online newspaper partners, browse their websites to locate their obituary submission section. Follow the guidelines provided, which may include registering for an account and paying a fee.
Alternatively, you can use dedicated memorial websites that often offer a free or more affordable option. These websites allow you to share the obituary with a wider audience and offer features such as digital guestbooks and photo galleries. Such online platforms offer flexibility in terms of formatting and content length. Remember to share the link to the online obituary with family, friends, and acquaintances.
In conclusion, whether publishing in a local newspaper or online, ensure you adhere to guidelines and requirements. Consider factors such as reach, cost, and format options before committing to a publication platform.
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the key elements to include in an obituary?
When writing an obituary, your primary goal is to inform others about the individual’s death and highlight their life. You should include the person’s full name, age, date of death, and hometown. A brief summary of their life story, important achievements, and hobbies should be mentioned. Additionally, provide details about the funeral or memorial service, such as the date, time, and location.
What should you avoid mentioning in an obituary?
It’s important to be respectful and considerate when writing an obituary. Avoid mentioning sensitive information such as the cause of death (unless the family has requested it), private family matters, or any ongoing legal issues. Also, refrain from including any negative or controversial aspects of the deceased’s life.
How do you list family members in an obituary?
In an obituary, make sure to list both surviving and predeceased family members. Start with the immediate family like the spouse, children, and parents. You can then mention siblings, followed by grandchildren if applicable. It is common to indicate family relationships in parentheses, such as “John Doe (brother)” or “Jane Smith (daughter).”
How can you create a simple obituary?
To create a simple obituary, focus on the key elements mentioned earlier. Begin with announcing the death by including the deceased’s full name, age, date of death, and hometown. Provide a brief summary of their life, including their occupation, hobbies, and achievements. List family members and funeral or memorial service information. Lastly, if the family prefers donations to a particular charity instead of flowers, you should mention that as well.
What is the correct format for an obituary?
There isn’t a strict format for an obituary, but typically they follow a certain structure. Start with announcing the death and including some personal information. Then, provide a summary of the deceased’s life, achievements, and hobbies. List family members, both surviving and predeceased, and include details about the funeral or memorial service. Sometimes, a personal message from the family, a favorite quote, or a verse can be added at the end.
How do you write an obituary for someone without a service?
Even if there is no planned service, you may still write an obituary to honor the individual’s life. Include the usual elements like their name, age, date of death, hometown, and a summary of their life. However, rather than mentioning funeral details, indicate that there will be no funeral or memorial service in the obituary. If the family requests that memorial donations be made to a specific charity, include that information as well.
